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Reprinted with permission


EXPERIENCES WITH KRISHNAMURTI AND HIS TEACHINGS

By

Harshad Parekh

I went to the United States for the first time in 1969 to study for a
master's degree in Electrical Engineering at Iowa State University. It was a
great cultural shock. I was not exposed to the western culture at all before
leaving India. The shock produced loneliness, anxiety about the future, fear
of meeting Americans and complete loss in confidence in oneself.

One day in 1972, I was passing by our campus bookshop at Iowa State
University. Through a glass window, I saw a book of Krishnamurti, "The
Flight of the Eagle", on display. The photograph and the title of the book
attracted me. I knew nothing about Krishnamurti at that time.

I bought the book out of curiosity. As I started reading the book, it had an
immediate impact on me. His words were simple. He talked about the problems
of daily existence. He talked about fear, loneliness, boredom, anxiety,
religious and nationalistic conditioning, and other psychological problems.
Through his words, I could see exactly what was going on within me.

He asked -" Why are we conditioned by our culture? Why do we think of
ourselves as Indians, Americans, Chinese..? Why are we lonely and isolated
human beings? Why are we afraid of the future?"

He asked us to look at the source of all psychological problems like
jealousy, anxiety, fear and loneliness. He said that thought creates the
thinker and then, the thinker tries to change thoughts. The duality between
the thinker and the thought creates all psychological problems.

These ideas were completely new to me. I tried to observe the beginning of a
thought and the thinker arising out of thought. But every time I tried to
observe the beginning of a thought, nothing came to my mind. Only the
silent observation existed. So I felt that Krishnamurti was absolutely
correct. If there is no thought, there is no thinker and there are no
psychological problems.

The observation of the thinking process became the main interest or passion
in my life. I could observe clearly the beginning of fear, jealousy,
anxiety, and other such feelings. The observation of what is brought about a
sense of freedom and confidence. The senses were sharpened. Colors, trees,
lights, human faces - everything began to appear clear, beautiful, fresh. I
began to take an active part in social activities. I shared apartments with
people of various nationalities. I began to express my thoughts and feelings
in our campus newspaper. I began to feel that we human beings shared the
same consciousness.

For five years I read Krishnamurti's books. The interest in observing the
mechanism of the thinking process intensified with time. It helped in my
research work at the university. During these years I completed the Master's
and Ph.D. degrees in Electrical Engineering. I wrote several letters to
Krishnamurti. In my first letter, written in 1973, I wrote -"I have been
attracted to the teachings of Ramkrishna Paramhansha and Vivekananda for
many years. Now reading your books, I understand how far a human being can
go in the spiritual dimension."

I received a letter from Krishnamurti's secretary. She wrote that Mr.
Krishnamurti had read my letter and he hoped that all would be well with me.

I kept on writing letters to Krishnamurti. I expressed what was happening
within me. I felt that Krishnamurti's books had given me a new life - a
fresh mind to observe the beauty of nature and the depth of human feelings.

In 1975, I moved to Canada. Now I was working as a Research Associate at
University of Waterloo. I was earning money and had holidays too. In 1977 I
went to Ojai to listen to K's public talks for the first time. I was happy
to see the man who had affected my life so much. I was happy to see the
beauty of oak trees and the hills in Ojai. What he talked about was not new
to me. I did not feel anything extraordinary about listening to him.

One day, after the talk, I saw him standing under a tree. He was alone. A
friend of mine almost pushed me to meet K. When I came very close to him, he
looked at me as if he was not in this world. My mind became blank. I could
not say a word, but extended my hand to shake his. We shook hands for a
second or two. As I left him, a pleasant cool breeze passed by me.

I visited Ojai again in 1978. I listened to his public talks but there was
nothing remarkable about my listening to him.

I visited Ojai again in 1979. This, I thought, would be my last visit to
Ojai. At that time, I had come close to another spiritual group. I had some
very good friends in this group who were urging me to visit their
communities in USA and Canada.

In April of 1979, I listened to K with perfect silence and attention. In
that state of mind, I could listen to sounds of children playing far away,
dogs barking, as well as the meaning behind K's words. In that state of
attention, I saw light radiating from the space around K's face. In that
space, I saw the face of an old man with a long white beard.

The face disappeared after a few seconds, but the silence and attention
remained undisturbed. The next day I wrote an affectionate letter to K
without mentioning what I saw. The words of the letter came to me in a
spontaneous flow. I wrote:

Beloved Krishnamurtiji:
I have always considered you as my grandfather ever since you ignited a
flame in my life. That happened about seven years ago when I was a student
at Iowa State University. The flame has become brighter with time. I would
be glad to dedicate my life to K schools if there is an opportunity. I would
like to teach love, beauty and life to children of your schools. I have no
experience in teaching these things, but I can at least teach physics and
mathematics.
How nice it would be to meet you! But I know there are many people like me
who love you and you cannot meet all of us.
With much love,
Harshad Parekh

I gave the letter to Mark Lee to hand it over to K. K must have read the
letter. I felt very happy after writing the letter.

A few days after writing the letter, there was a music concert in the
Octagonal Pavilion. Lakshmi Shankar had come to sing for K and others.
Before entering the Pavilion, I was talking with someone about K with deep
feeling of love.

We were sitting in the Pavalion. Lakshmi Shankar and her companion were on
the stage. I was looking at the musicians. The entrance door was behind us.
We were waiting for K to arrive. Suddenly my heart and brain started
throbbing wildly and my face became warm. Then I saw K passing by me and
taking his seat in front of the musicians. I closed my eyes. The throbbing
went on for few minutes. I opened my eyes. Everything looked divine, clear,
beautiful, radiating light. Though we did not look at each other, there
seemed to be communion. The throbbing stopped after a few minutes, but it
seemed that something new had happened within the brain and the heart.

The next day I wrote another letter to K spontaneously with deep feelings.
Beloved Grandfather:
Your blessings are showering upon me. You have given much. You are too
independent to receive anything from anyone but I wish all the remaining
years of my life be added to your life. The burning volcano of passion must
remain alive for many years to come. The tiger must continue to roar for
many years to come.

After giving this letter to Mark Lee to hand it over to K, I left Ojai. My
eyes were seeing everything so clear and beautiful. After returning to
Canada, I could not sleep for two days. It was very clear that my life was
meant for K schools. I wrote another letter to K from Canada.

Beloved Krishnamurtiji:
It is very clear that my life is meant for K schools and Foundations.
Everything I have now belongs to the schools. I have saved about $15000
which I would like to donate to the schools. There is an awaking of love and
compassion. Please write to me if there is any possibility for me to teach
at any of the K schools.
With love,

Only after writing this letter, I could sleep. I knew that my life was
changing its direction without any conflicts, doubts, fear, analysis and so
on. I received a letter from K dated May 9, 1979 from Ojai.

My Dear Dr. Parekh:
Thank you very much for your letter and your deep interest in the various
Foundations. I talked to Mark Lee and I am afraid there is no place at Ojai
for your capacities. Perhaps you might be able to be of great help at
Rajghat near Benares or at Rishi Valley in the south. As I am seeing the
Principal of Rishi Valley, Mr. G.Narayan, at Brockwood Park in England in a
few days, I will talk the matter over with him to write to you. He will
naturally want to know your qualifications and so on.
It is very good of you to have written and to be willing to give up
everything to work for the Foundations, and most likely it will be in India.
I hope everything will be well with you.
With the Best Wishes,
Yours affectionately,
J.Krishnamurti

A few days after K's letter, I received a letter from Mr. Narayan. He was at
Brockwood and so was K. Mr. Narayan suggested that I visit Brockwood and
discuss with him and K about my coming to India.

I visited Brockwood for the first time in June 1979. It was a tiring journey
from Heathrow airport to Brockwood. I traveled by bus, then by train, and
again by bus. Then I had to walk for two hours in the rain, carrying my
luggage. When I reached Brockwood, I was very hungry and tired.

After lunch, I was feeling sleepy, but Mr. Narayan suggested that we go to
the Grove. The giant redwood trees in the grove looked strangely alive and
beautiful. All my tiredness was gone. Then Mr. Narayan said -"Look! Who is
there?". K was in the grove. Probably he was responsible for the
extraordinary happiness and energy I felt in the grove.

The next day I had lunch with K. I was a bit shy sitting in front of him but
I was neither nervous nor self conscious. He asked me a few questions about
my family, whether I was married or not, whether my parents approved of my
joining a K school in India and giving up my job in Canada. I told him that
there were no problems and I was free to do what I enjoyed most. Then he
said -"Try for a year or two at Rishi Valley. It is possible that you may
not like us or we may not like you." I thought -"Sir, I do not want anything
from anybody. If people at Rishi Valley do not like me, I will go away." I
did not say this but I think he understood what I felt. Then he said -"If I
may suggest, do not stay at one place for too long." I immediately said
-"Sir, it does not matter where I go." He said -"Yes, I know that."

I went to Rishi Valley in November 1979. The school van came to Madanpalle
to pick me up. As the van entered the campus, I saw K coming out for his
evening walk. When the van reached the guest house, I felt an extraordinary
beauty around me. I felt that this place would be my home.

I had an opportunity to meet K in Rishi Valley individually and also in
small groups. Several times I felt that extraordinary sense of happiness,
beauty, otherness in his presence. This happened by itself - not during
talks and dialogues but during music and dance programs.

K passed away in 1986. I continued to teach in Rishi Valley up to 1998. I
was at Rajghat for a year in 1983 and at Brockwood Park in 1989. Then I
taught at Sahyadri School from 1998 to 2004 and at Valley School in
Bangalore from 2004 to 2007. I retired from teaching in April 2007. I
continue to visit all these schools and also schools in Ojai and Brockwood
Park. All these places are beautiful. It was a great privilege to teach at
all these places. I always wanted to teach in a school and I have fulfilled
my desire.












My Association With Krishnamurti
>From 1979 to 1986
in India
By
Harshad Parekh

I have written about how I came into contact with Krishnamurti's teachings
in 1972, about his impact on my life in USA and Canada, about my meeting
with him at Brockwood in 1979 and about my coming to Rishi Valley in a
separate article. After my joining Rishi Valley as a teacher in November
1979, Krishnamurti visited Rishi Valley every year for a month and held
discussions with teachers and students. I was present during these
discussions and participated in some of them. In this article, I remember
Krishnamurti with the help of diaries I maintained during those years.

I arrived in Rishi Valley for the first time on November 9, 1979. The school
van came to pick me up from Madanpalle. As the van entered the school, I saw
Krishnamurti walking elegantly on the main road. When the van reached the
new guest house, everything looked wonderful in the evening light. I felt
that this place would be my home.

One day in 1979, we had lunch with Krishnamurti. The teachers present were
Mr. Narayan, Shanti Menon, Mishraji and Hanumant Rao. Krishnamurti talked
with Shanti Menon about English Literature. Then he said to me -" You come
from Canada. You must be bored in this place." I said -"Rishi Valley is a
beautiful place."
We talked more about Canada, the place where I lived and worked. Then we
talked about teaching students without comparing them. I said -"When we go
to a classroom and ask a question to students, the intelligent students
answer the question immediately and then other students would feel inferior.
They compare themselves with intelligent students. The feeling of comparison
exists within them even if we do not compare them." Krishnamurti said -"Of
course." Sometimes Krishnamurti looked at me when I was looking down at my
plate. At one time during the lunch, he said -" I am glad that I have no
son". Then he wanted to know my feeling. I said to myself - that is not
true. Many people think of you as father."

In 1980

K arrived in Rishi Valley in the morning on November 22 along with Mary
Zimbalist, Dr. Parchure and Nandini Mehta. K looked well with innocent smile
and silvery hair.

On November 28, there was a teachers' meeting with K. He asked -"Do you have
the vision of the whole? Do you have a vision of what this school could be?
Are you passionate about anything? Do you have a mission in life with
sustained energy? Come on, all of you! I am challenging you!"
He also said -"If you have a vision, there can be no fear. If you have no
vision, then talking will be intellectual and meaningless."
Mr. Narayan was feeling tense while speaking. K asked him if he was free
from prejudice. Jaya asked many ordinary questions but he listened with
seriousness. He made her realize the futility of analysis. Jaya was touched
by K's love. Tears were sparkling in her eyes and K also tried to wipe his
eyes.

On December 1, K talked with teachers from various schools in India and
abroad. He talked about knowledge, memory, conditioning, learning. He became
very passionate when Jaya asked some questions. He was very gentle with her.
He said -"There is no effort involved if one knows how to listen.
Understanding does not come through thinking - material process."

On December 3, there was another teachers' discussion with K. This was the
first time I participated in the discussion with K. He talked about two
streams of learning - learning about matter and learning about the mind. He
said that there was a conflict between the two. Both kinds of learning
involved accumulation of information. He asked -"Is there a different kind
of learning which does not involve effort and accumulation of information ?"
At one point he asked -"Is there anything to learn?" Then he said -"There is
nothing to learn."
Pupulji asked -"How can one accept such a statement?"
K asked again -"Do you accept what I said?"
No one answered. I said -"Yes, I accept."
K said -"This is the most illogical absurd thing to accept. Do you accept?"
I said -"Yes, I accept."
K said -"Explain to Pupulji why you accept."
I said to Pupulji -"If you have problems, you find it necessary to learn
about yourself. But if you are free, there is nothing to learn."
K said -"You used the word 'if' "
I said -"There is no absolute truth in a verbal statement."
K asked -"What is learning?"
I said -"To see things as they are."
K said -"You are repeating my words."
I said -"No Sir"
K talked about the danger of a poisonous snake and the danger of opinions.
He said that both involve conditioning.
I said -"But the two things are different. The danger of a cobra is an
instinct for survival and it is a form of intelligence. The opinions are not
instinct of survival."
He said -"That is what I am saying."
A teacher from Bangalore school asked K -"Is there nothing to learn?"
K answered -"Nothing!"
The teacher got up and said -"I got your point." He left the meeting.
Later K asked -" Why did he leave the meeting? He has not understood."
Mr. Narayan said -"May be there was a sudden flash of Zen-Satori"
Kabir said -"He is an immature, impatient young man."

On December 5, K talked about beauty. He asked -"What is beauty?"
I answered -"Clear perception without images."
He said -"That is just a theory."
I said -"No, Sir." I look at everything with clear eyes and no images. In
that there is beauty which cannot be described in words.
Earlier he said -"We talked about two streams of learning. There is conflict
between the two in our daily life. Also there is no learning for a man who
is free. This is a complex thing and I will not go into it."
Then he looked at me and said -"Don't agree with what I am saying."
There was nothing to agree or disagree with him. What he said was true for
him and so it was for me.
He talked about the state of mind of a child who is absorbed in a toy.
He asked -"What has happened to the mind of the child?"
I answered -"His attention is narrowed down."
He was probably impressed by this answer as I could see a flash in his eyes.
He asked -"What is your relationship with your students?"
I answered -"I enjoy looking at them."
He asked -"What do you mean by that?"
I preferred to keep silence.
He asked -"Whom do I challenge?" For few seconds, no one responded.
Then I said -"Sir, you can challenge me."
I also said -"Sir, why do we narrow down our relationship with students?
What is our relationship to people and everything?"
He asked -"What is your relationship with your husband or wife?"
Mr. N answered -"We have no relationship."
Mr. T answered -"It is a relationship of convenience."
K asked -"Have you told that to your wife?"
K said -"Teaching is the greatest profession in the world. Teaching is to
create a new generation of boys and girls. Oh, I wish there were more
flowers in Rishi Valley. This is not asking in time. I am not interested in
time."
When he said this, I was deeply touched by his passion to create flowering
human beings.
I said to myself -"Yes. Rishi Valley would flower with beautiful human
beings."
Mrs. S, who was sitting far, said -"It is ten minutes after eleven."
She had not understood what K was talking about time. K became angry and
said -"What are you talking about?"
It was not her fault.

On December 6, there was a teachers' meeting with K. Some organizational
changes were made in Rishi Valley. Rajesh would be in charge of junior
school, Venkatraman to be in charge of senior school, Mrs. Thomas would act
as Headmistress and Mr. Narayan to continue acting as the Principal.
Then K talked about how to approach a problem.
I said -"You can approach a problem only if you have no problem." There was
a flash in the minds of some teachers.
K said -"I will not be here for long. I am already a dead man. Only four or
five years may have been left. What is the future of this school? Do you
have a vision of what this place would be?"

On December 7, there was another discussion with teachers. He said
-"Investigation begins when thought stops."
I said -"As long as there is investigation, thought operates. When thought
stops, what is there to investigate?"
Pupulji said -"With other teachers of philosophy, ending of thought is the
final goal. With Krishnaji, it is the beginning. Is that right?"
K said -"Yes." He did not say about what is the nature of investigation in
which thought is absent.
He talked about affection, religion and meditation.

Mrs. Indira Gandhi visited Rishi Valley on December 20. K left Rishi Valley
on December 22.

In 1981

On January 10, I came very close to K in Vasant Vihar. I wanted to talk with
him but I could not because of my shyness. I greeted him with 'Namaste' and
he reciprocated.

On April 18, I wrote a letter to Krishnaji:

Beloved Krishnamurtiji:
This is Harshad Parekh a teacher at Rishi Valley School. I am writing to you
after almost two years. You visited Rishi Valley in 1979 and 1980. But we
could not talk with each other because of my shyness and your very busy
schedule. Also, I had no personal questions to ask.

I have been teaching here for about a year and a half. This has been one of
the happiest times in my life. This has been a good time for my mental and
spiritual development. I had good opportunities to discuss your teachings
with many teachers, students and visitors. We have had challenging
discussions in the staff meetings every week. I enjoyed teaching maths and
physics in classrooms where time flew fast. I have very good feelings for
all teachers and students (and everyone) here at Rishi Valley.

I hope to be here for one more year. After I have completed two years of
teaching at Rishi Valley, I would like to teach at some other K school in
India or abroad. Since I am a citizen of Canada, I had written a letter to
Dr. Siddoo at Wolf Lake school. I received a letter from her two days ago.
She wrote that Wolf Lake school would be closed for a year and if it
reopens, she would prefer a teacher who would stay there for many years. She
advised me to write to other K schools.

Krishnaji, I would like to teach or do some other work at Ojai or Brockwood
Park schools if there is any opportunity.

It is quite hot here at Rishi Valley during these months of March, April and
May. Our bodies are constantly perspiring during the day. But this place is
as beautiful as ever with bluish hills, red earth, thousands of green trees
and bright and colorful flowers.

With Love and the Best Wishes for your health and work.

Yours Truly
Harshad Parekh.

Note- Recently I met Pandit Gopi Krishna who lives in New Delhi and
Srinagar. He writes books about kundlini. He had met you once in Saanen. He
said -"Krishnamurti is an honest teacher unlike other spiritual gurus. But
we have differences of opinions. Rishis, who wrote Upanishads, also differed
with one another."

December 8, 1981

K had a discussion with teachers. He spoke about knowledge. Knowledge is
limited. It is clouded by ignorance. Scientists would never be able to
understand the mystery of the universe. They use their mind to understand
things which are beyond the comprehension of the mind. Man created God. If
God created man, man would not live the way he does.

Too much emphasis has been given to knowledge in our schools. Knowledge has
produced atom bombs and nuclear weapons. Very little emphasis has been given
to the study of mind. The result is that nations are preparing for war. Man
will destroy himself if he fails to understand mind and its complex
behaviour.

He asked -"Do we see that knowledge is limited?"
I asked -"What is it that sees? To see something requires mind which is
limited!"
He said -"Don't complicate. We will complicate it later!"

On December 15, K had a discussion with students. It was about how to live
in this corrupt world. Is it possible not to be corrupt? The discussion must
have stirred the mind of many sensitive students. It must have also created
confusion and uncertainty of future.
At the end of the discussion, he asked all of us to close our eyes and sit
still. The clock in the auditorium was ticking loudly in the silence.

In one of the discussions with teachers, K spoke about the religious mind.
He said -" The religious mind is a mind which is free from all illusions."
I asked -"If the mind is in illusion, can it be aware of itself? We try to
understand what you are saying with our intellect which is limited. How do
we know whether we are in illusion or not? Is there an understanding which
does not come from intellect and logic?"
He was pleased to listen to this question. Then the whole discussion was
centered about illusions. He was very passionate while discussing.

When K speaks, everyone listens with awe and tenseness. He goes on asking
questions and he does not want his listeners to go to sleep. This makes most
of the listeners tired at the end of the discussion. He would not accept
anything said by the listeners. His mind is very flexible, sharp and quick.
Very few listeners can move with him. His words come from silence. He is
intense but quiet too.

We had lunch with K on 15th December. Mr. Narayan, Mr. and Mrs. Bedi,
Krishanan Kutti, Radha Burnier and I were on the lunch table. Mr. Bedi is a
well known photographer and a friend of K. He went on talking about cameras,
photography, his health. K spoke about cars, cameras.. Once in a while, Mr.
Narayan and Radha spoke. I and Krishanan Kutti were mere listeners. It was
very tiring to listen to them talking about superficial things. But food was
light and excellent.

On December 19, K talked with Rishi Valley teachers. He spoke about love and
beauty. These were the topics I wanted him to talk before he started. He
said that you cannot create good and happy human beings without love. He
asked -"Are you growing - flowering in this valley? Or are you blocked with
problems you are unaware of?"

He also talked about good taste in walking, eating, dressing etc.. He felt
that students of our school were careless and had no sense of good taste.
Feroza asked -"Would you define good taste?"
He did not answer. It cannot be defined. But he asked the same question to
Usha.
Usha said -"It is something which does not break certain harmony."
Mr. Narayan asked -"You have talked about good taste, cultivation of
intellect etc. But you have also said that there is nothing to learn. Would
you please explain what do you mean?"
K said -"One can learn about scientific facts, various subjects, etc.. But
apart from these, there is nothing to learn. Is there anything to learn
about yourself? You just observe what is going on."
I said -"As long as mind is working(that is, thought is operating), there is
something to observe. But when the mind is not, what is there to observe?"
He said -"Observe that tree, green leaves and red flowers."
I said -" But when you say this, your mind is working. Trees and flowers are
there. What is there to observe?"
He asked -"What is wrong with observing with the mind?"
I said -"Nothing wrong."
He said -"You all have some fantastic ideas."
But he had agreed or understood what I meant. He just wanted to test me. He
again emphasized that there is nothing to learn or observe when the mind is
silently awake to itself.
Earlier I had said -"Sir, when we understand what you are saying, everything
drops."
He asked -"What drops?"
I said -"Thoughts. Then there is a state of emptiness, we cannot speak about
it."
He said -"Yes. What is articulated is not the real."
At the end of the talk, K was in a happy state of mind. He said with a smile
-"We are having lunch together. That is very important. We will have good
food and jokes." K left Rishi Valley on December 20.

Some of us, teachers, went to Chennai to listen to K talks. K spoke with a
quiet strength. He said that he was completely free from conflicts. His face
shone with light and wind played with his white hair. He looked like a great
rishi. People listened with utter silence. He spoke about order,
responsibility, conflicts, duality etc.
In the second talk, he was a bit tired and distracted by loud music coming
from outside. He said -"Muslims ruled over India for 700 years and
Britishers ruled for 150 years. They did not affect much our old culture.
But after independence, you have made a mess in this country. There is no
discipline and rules. The whole country is full of corruption and
immorality. No one cares about anything. This noise coming here with the
wind is not music."

1982
K arrived in Rishi Valley on December 1. We received him at the old guest
house where he stays. His coming is a great event for us. His presence makes
us happy and alert to the ways of the self. During his presence we would be
kind to all students and workers. We would be concerned about bringing the
transformation of the brain. He would challenge us and we would accept his
views with humility. He would tell us jokes and laugh with us. Then he would
go away and we will be back to our old ways of thinking and living.

On December 7, K talked with a group of serious teachers from different K
schools. He told us that he would not be us after few years. After his
death, we should be our own teachers and disciples. We should live and
flower with love and goodness. There would be groups of serious teachers in
all K schools. We should visit different schools and interact with each
other. We should be committed to the Teachings and the Teachings are ever
fresh and infinite. Shall we cooperate with each other leaving aside our
fears, suspicions and strong ideas of 'right' and 'wrong'? He asked - "After
I leave India in February or March, how shall we keep in touch with each
other?"

On December 8, K talked with students. The topics were knowledge, memory,
conditioning, sensitivity. He asked us to find out where knowledge is
necessary and where it is not. In love, knowledge is not necessary. At the
end of the talk, he asked us to close our eyes and watch our thoughts. What
a silence was in the auditorium? We never had such silence before! A boy of
class 4 asked him -"Do you have any fears?" He answered with all humility
that he had no fear of his reputation, death or of any thing.

K has been talking with a group of teachers almost daily. He is as
passionate as ever and does not look too old. K desires to have groups of
serious teachers in all K schools. Once I asked him -"Instead of starting
with the idea of forming such groups, would not it be marvelous if this
happens by itself? Politicians form groups with a common purpose but it does
last long." He said -"These schools did not happen by themselves. We had to
work hard to bring about such groups."

On December 12, K talked with teachers about capacity. Capacity means
something which can be contained in a limited space. It depends on
experience and knowledge. Is there a kind of capacity which is beyond
knowledge and experience? He also talked about how to approach a problem. Is
it possible to just lok at it without a desire to solve it? How do you
develop a style? It just comes from feelings which are spontaneous. It comes
from silence.

On December 14, K talked with a small group of teachers. It was quite
intense. He said that Rishi Valley would be a place where people with
religious mind would live and work together. He asked -"What is the most
essential quality of the religious mind?"
Shreeniwas said -"Intelligence to observe what is."
I said -"Probably it is compassion."
K asked -"Is it an idea?"
I said -"When we speak, it is an idea. When there is compassion, we do not
speak."
He said -"The religious mind is a mind free from ideas and ideals."
I said -"I agree but in our daily life, when we teach, don't we want our
students to be good? Is this not an idea? Can any one live for 24 hours a
day without having an idea?"
He said -"Forget about students. Can you live without ideas?"
I asked -"When you say that Rishi Valley would be a place for people of
religious mind, is this not an ideal?"
He said -"You have not listened to me. I said that the religious mind has no
ideas or ideals."
He asked -"How do you learn about yourself? Is there a mirror within you in
which you see the whole of yourself?"
I said -"If such a mirror exists, it is probably made up of ideas and
ideals. Does not this indicate duality?"
He said -"Probably such a mirror does not exist." Yet he spoke about seeing
the whole of oneself in the mirror of relationship.
He said -"When you have the religious mind, you are like a rock in the
ocean. When students see such a man, what happens to them? Put yourself in
the place of students."

On December 16, K again spoke about the religious mind. He wants Rishi
Valley to be the spiritual centre. He places a great emphasis to talking
with young and enthusiastic teachers. The students are not serious so why
waste energy on them? The trustees of KFI want him to take rest but he is
very much enthusiastic talking with teachers. He would like us to come to
Madras where he would continue talking with us. He would like to keep in
touch with us even after he leaves India.
He said -"The religious mind is free from conflicts and images. Can you live
the daily life without a single image? What is your answer?"
I said -"The mind which watches the conflicts and images as they arise -is
such a mind the religious mind? We are not concerned with ending images but
watching their operation, their movement."
He said -"My brother died 57 years ago. I think about him and live with his
memories. What does this do to my brain? Does not this deteriorate the
brain?"
I said -"If one watches when the memory arises, then it is happening in the
present. In such watching, the brain does not deteriorate."

I was leaving the guest house after the discussion. He asked me to stay.
When all teachers had left, we sat on a soft mat. We remained silent for a
minute. Then he asked me to speak.



I said -"I have always been shy of meeting you. I have not talked with you
personally after coming to Rishi Valley. I would like to thank you for
allowing me to teach here. I have enjoyed my work. Next term I will be going
to Rajghat School."
He asked -"Do you enjoy teaching here?"
I answered -"Yes, very much."
He asked -"Are you going to Rajghat in June?"
I said -"Yes."
He asked -"For how long?"
I said -"For one year."
We remained silent for a while. Then he asked -"You wrote me letters, didn't
you?"
I said -"Yes. I wrote several letters. I wrote one letter after staying here
for a year."
He said -"You wrote letters before joining the school. Didn't you?"
I said -"Yes. In one of my letters I wrote that I always considered you as
my grand father. No one has affected my life as you did."
He smiled. I remained silent. The flowers in the room and the clay image of
a god were alive with beauty.
After sometime I said -"Once I wrote you about my meeting with Gopi
Krishna."
He asked -"The man who writes about Kundlini? I had met him once. Is he
genuine?"
I answered-"From his writings, he seems genuine. He is a gentle, honest man
and speaks with humility and confidence."
He asked -"Is he extra ordinary like this?" From his gestures, he meant -
was he like K?
Then he said -"He has gone through some experiences but he is making too
much out of it."
I said -"He writes about the evolution of humanity."
He said -"Yes. I know that."
Again there was silence. After a minute, he said -"That is enough."
He smiled and touched my leg with affection.

On December 17, K spoke to all teachers of the school. He asked -"Why does
the brain deteriorate?"
I said -"When we do things which we don't enjoy, the brain deteriorates. The
conflict between our daily work and our deeper interest in life produce
deterioration in the brain."
He asked -"Are you speaking for yourself?"
I answered -"Yes."
He asked -"What do you mean by enjoyment? You may enjoy power, position.."
I said -"No, Sir."
He said -"Not you. Others may enjoy power, position, respectability. Some
may enjoy drugs. Does this prevent deterioration?"
I said -"Drugs may have side effects."
He asked -"Is there any enjoyment which does not have side effects? You may
enjoy sexual pleasures and live for 95 years. Will this prevent
deterioration of the brain?" He talked about the limitation of knowledge,
experience, thinking etc.. This limitation is responsible for the
deterioration of the brain.
He said -"All thinking leads to the deterioration of the brain. Do you see
that?"
Radhika agreed. I did not. K asked us to discuss this matter.
I said -"If we enjoy learning, knowledge does not deteriorate the brain. But
if we learn because we have to (against our interest), then deterioration
happens.
K said -"Unless one has a new instrument to deal with knowledge, it is bound
to lead to the deterioration of the brain.
I asked -"What is that new instrument? If I ask this question to myself, the
answer will be from thinking. So one does not know if such an instrument
exists."
I also said -"If what you say comes from thinking, it is limited."
Pupulji talked about the limitation of thought, knowledge.
I said -"When you speak about the limitation, you have an idea that there is
something unlimited. Is there such a thing, or everything is limited?"
K said -"You cannot walk to Madanpalle in two hours. That is the
limitation."
Alan asked -"Does that lead to the deterioration of the brain?"
K understood that the limitation of knowledge does not lead to the
deterioration of the brain. He said that the limitation is bound to lead to
the deterioration of the brain if one has not acquired the new instrument to
deal with knowledge. He said that I was waiting for such an instrument.
I said -"You cannot wait for this."
He talked about computers, wars, meditation, our responsibility etc.

On December 18, K had a discussion with Pupulji. It was very good. Pupulji
asked some questions about how to read the book of life, what is the nature
of what is and with what instrument we observe. K said that the whole
humanity is within us. It is the story of humanity that we read. Sorrow and
loneliness belong to all human beings. The brain has infinite capacity and
the Mind is the universe. The Universal Mind is the source of all creation.
The limited brain cannot understand the Infinite Universal Mind. The
unconditioning of the brain is essential for the understanding of the Mind.
He said that there was nothing to read when the observer and the observed
were one. Then the brain and the mind were as vast as the cosmos. He said
that what they discussed will stand the test of time. Great intellectuals of
the west would understand the truth of his teachings.

All teachers had lunch with K in the guest house. After lunch, he told some
jokes. K left Rishi Valley on December 20 for Madras.

1983

On January 7, K talked with a group of teachers in Madras. K asked -" What
is a human being? Do we feel that we are bundles of thoughts and emotions?
Why do we make everything into a problem? Is it because our brains are
trained that way? Why our brains are trained to solve problems?"
I said -"When the mind is disturbed, it creates problems."
He asked -"Then how do we resolve it?"
I said -"It can't be resolved. It has to happen by itself."
He said -"I refuse to have problems." After sometime, he asked -"What shall
I do?"
I said -"If you have made up your mind that you will not have any problems,
then you do not ask -what shall I do?"
He said that I did not listen to him carefully.

On January 8, K talked with teachers for 2 hours. He talked about the
problem making machinery called thinking and feeling. He asked if the
machinery had come to an end and if it was so, what had happened to our
minds?
When I tried to answer, he said -"Don't think about it."
I said -"I am not thinking. I am watching. The machinery has almost come to
an end. But when can one say that it has ended completely? Can one ever say
that?"
Earlier he talked about the bundle of thoughts and feelings. We are all such
bundles. But why do we create problems?
I said -"If it is a static bundle, it does not create problems. But it is a
dynamic bundle. Different elements of the bundle collide and create
problems."
K said that there will be problems in Rishi Valley if the machinery has not
ended. - why has it not ended after discussing these things for many years?
At the end of the discussion, Pupulji, Shreeniwas and Rajesh were talking
about thinking, feeling and ideas as abstraction. Shreeniwas said glibly
-"Feeling is a cry of the heart!" Listening to that K acted as if somebody
had hit him hard and that made me laugh uncontrollably. He acted as if he
had fallen on the ground!

On May 1, I wrote a long letter to Krishnamurti:
Beloved Krishnaji:
We have a vacation here from March 20th to June 15th. There are very few
teachers staying here for the vacation. The valley is very quiet. We have a
lot of leisure. We spend time reading, writing, going for walks, listening
music, playing tennis and indoor games, sleeping, dreaming, meditating etc..
I have not written to you for almost 2 years. During your last visit to
Rishi Valley you asked us -"How shall we communicate after I leave India?" I
thought you wanted us to write to you. You want to know what is happening to
us and the school.
I will write first about what is happening within me and then about the
school.
I have been teaching here for almost three and a half years. I have enjoyed
living and teaching here. I have got attached to this place. Everyday is
fresh. The eyes have become sensitive to beauty of things and people. The
brain is throbbing day and night. Every now and then some pleasant
sensations occur in my back. The body has become sensitive to its movement.
I have lost 7 kg of weight after joining this school but my health is good.
After two months I will go to Rajghat School for a year. I will be back to
Rishi Valley in April 1984.
Now About Rishi Valley
Rishi Valley is as beautiful as ever. But this year there is shortage of
water. Last night there was a short shower. We hope more showers will follow
in May and June. This year was good for tamarind but very poor for mango. We
have no water for paddy. Mr. Naidu is very busy drilling holes in the
existing wells to get more underground water.
About School
The school is progressing well. New buildings are being built for classrooms
and hostels. We may be able to install a solar water heater and two bio gas
plants with the financial help from the government. Radhikaji is keenly
interested in these projects. We are also doing some work for the
development of villages surrounding the school.
There is talk about autonomy for the school. However, there is no clarity
regarding this issue. Teachers talk about teaching methods, curriculum etc.
These talks seem superficial and intellectual to me. They talk about what
they have read in books on education.
Our school, you say must be a spiritual centre. But most of us don't feel
that way. The school is concerned mostly about academic matters. This school
might become a Business Centre. But anyway, this school is a good place to
grow if one cares. I have enjoyed my work.
Recently I visited Madurai, Kodai Kanal and Kanya Kumari. It was a good
experience.
With Love,
Harshad Parekh
P.S. A debate is going on within me. If you have any comment, criticism or
advice, please write to me at your convenience. Once during a discussion at
Rishi Valley you said -"I am not criticizing you. I have no right to
criticize you." Your criticism will be valuable. I think I am in touch with
myself but I may not have understood myself completely. A person, who is in
illusion, does not know that he is in illusion. If he knows, there is no
illusion. We had discussed this once at Rishi Valley.
One voice within me says -"Will you go on living like this for the rest of
your life? Until now you have lived a quiet life of pleasant dreams and have
remained an introvert. Is this all? Is there not a different way of living
in which physical actions come from serenity? Should you not give up
romantic dreams and be an austere man of action? The time is ripe for this.
Don't remain satisfied with what you are. Break habits which are pleasant
and comforting. Enter the world of action. Your time of dreaming and
contemplating is over."
Another voice says -"Why should you try to be this or that? Watch what is
happening. Right action cannot be thought out in advance. It will happen at
the right time. A fruit falls when it is ripe. If it is plucked before the
right time, it tastes bitter or sour. Have patience. Don't be ambitious.
Good works will be done through you. Don't muddle yourself by will and
effort."

I left Rishi Valley in June 1983 to teach at Rajghat School in Varanasi for
a year. That year K did not visit Varanasi. So I visited Rishi Valley to
meet students, teachers and K in December. Before meeting K, I met all three
main administrators of the school. They were not happy about my coming back
to Rishi Valley to teach in June 1984. They were upset by my outspokenness.
I was told that I must not come back to Rishi Valley to teach next year. I
was disturbed to hear this. So I decided to meet K.

K talked with students on December 16 from 9.30 to 10.30 a.m. After the
talk, I approached K and said -"Sir, I would like to see you for few
minutes."
He smiled but looked very tired. He placed his hand on forehead and asked
-"How long you will be here?"
I said -"For two more days only."
He asked -"Where will you go from here?"
I said -"To Rajghat School."
He said -"Let me see if I have time." He left.

I had an appointment to meet K at 4.45 p.m. on December 17. I went to the
old Guest House at 4.30 p.m. Dr. Parchure asked me if he could discuss with
me before meeting K. I said 'yes' He started asking simple questions and
slowly developing a clear picture of what I wanted to say to K. Dr. Parchure
after listening to my story asked -"Would you like to teach at Rishi Valley
in summer and at Rajghat in winter?"
I said -"That would be nice. I want to avoid summer at Rajghat. That is my
only problem."
Dr. Parchure was surprised at the attitude of administrators towards me.

K called us upstairs. When I sat down on a chair in front of him, he asked
-"What can I do for you?"
I said -"This morning I had a disturbing discussion with administrators of
Rishi Valley. They don't want me to teach here next term."
He asked -"What?"
Dr. Parchure said -"Dr. Parekh has been teaching at Rajghat School. He finds
summer at Rajghat School very hot and humid. He likes to come back to Rishi
Valley next term. But the administrators are not happy about his coming
back."
K said -"Of course summer is terrible at Benaras. Why don't they want you to
teach at Rishi Valley next term?"
I said -"It is a problem of relationship. They don't like to talk with me.
They think I talk like an Enlightened man."
K asked -"Are you an Enlightened man?"
I said -"No. I am not. But they don't like my way of talking."
K asked -"In what way do you talk?"
I said -"The same way I talk with you or any one else."
K said -"I do not discuss people and their personal problems. The
administrators must decide what is good for the school. We discuss only
policy and direction of the school. I don't have anything to do with you."
I asked -"If they do injustice to some teachers, should I keep quiet? If
they ask me to leave this school, should I go away?"
He said -"Let me make myself clear. I have nothing to do with you."
There was some discussion about Mr. X telling me about corruption in the
school. It was difficult to explain the whole thing. K wanted simple facts
but it was difficult to talk about petty matters.
K said -"You took the side of discontented people and became an intermediary
between them and the administrators. The proper thing is to bring them face
to face with the administrators."
I said -"I know that some teachers are discontented. But they are afraid of
expressing themselves. They don't want to lose their jobs."
After sometime, K looked at me and asked -"What is disturbing you?"
I did not answer. We looked at each other for several seconds in hypnotized
way. Then he turned away his eyes. He had finished talking with me. We got
up. He smiled and touched my shoulder with affection. I also did the same.
We were friends.

I told K that I did not want to talk about all these things. I wanted to
talk about Rajghat School.
He asked -"What did you want to talk about Rajghat School?"
I said -"Rajghat School is neglected."
He asked -"By whom?"
I said -"By you."
He said -"No. I am not neglecting Rajghat School. I am visiting Rajghat next
year. I am keeping in touch with Mr. Sathaye and Professor Hiralal is
joining Rajghat School."
I said -"Your coming may make us work hard and create a better environment."


1984

I arrived in Varanasi on November 1 to listen to K's talks. There was curfew
in the city due to Indira Gandhi's assassination. K decided to cancel his
talks in Varanasi this year. However, he arrived on November 10 and gave two
talks on November 11 and 12. He spoke on security, fear, self, meditation,
religious mind and death. On 11th, he had lunch with all campers in the
dining hall. He planted some trees. I came close to him several times but
did not speak with him.
Our plan of returning to Rishi Valley was cancelled three times due to bad
weather. As a result, we could attend K's talk with teachers of Rajghat
School. He spoke about the teacher's responsibility, the present situation
in the world, infinite capacity of the brain and its deterioration by
conditionings.
He invited us to participate in the discussion. I asked him -"Is not our
primary responsibility to find freedom from the self and the psychological
problems associated with it? What can we teach or communicate when we are
not free?"
He said that we do not have to be free first and then teach. In discussing
with students we learn about ourselves. We should not discuss with a
position of authority. In the atmosphere of friendly and open discussions we
begin to learn about our conditioning.
I asked -"Is it only by discussing with students do we learn about
ourselves?"
He answered -"Of course not. We learn about ourselves in the mirror of
relationship."
One lady teacher from Vasanta College said -"Even when we know about our
conditioning, we do not be free. We continue with our faults."
K asked her several questions about her relationship with students. She
answered gently but confidently. Sahida from Rajghat School also joined the
discussion. She also spoke gently and clearly. Several times K held her
fingers in his hands. Dennis also joined in the discussion. K asked him
several questions to understand him. He answered hesitantly. The discussion
lasted for two hours. People sitting at the back were relieved when the
discussion ended.

On November 19, K had a discussion with students of Rajghat School. The
students were unable to express themselves in English. Only two boys and one
girl participated in the discussion. What K spoke was beyond their capacity
to understand. He stopped after one hour but students wanted him to
continue.
In the evening, pandits of Varanasi chanted in the presence of K. They had
powerful voices but the hall was too small for the sound.

K arrived in Rishi Valley on December 2. He had a discussion with students
on December 7. Some boys and girls of class 8 participated in the
discussion. It was a lively discussion. K was happy and intense. The topics
for the discussion were prejudice, comparison, insecurity, infinite capacity
of the brain etc. The questions asked were - Is understanding someone a
prejudice too? What is it that gets hurt when someone insults you? Why does
one compare? Can a confused brain free itself? K was impressed by Ajit Pai's
questions.

On December 8, K had a discussion with teachers. He spoke for about 40
minutes about the role of educator in the world, our relationship with the
world, corruption and disintegration, authority and cooperation. When he
invited comments or questions, I said -"Cooperation is not possible when we
have self interest."
He said -"It is a nice statement. Do you have self interest?"
I hesitated but said -"I do not have self interest in my work with the
school."
He said that we hide our self interest in the pretext of nationalism,
religious beliefs, ideas etc..
Radhika asked some questions about self interest, clarity and independence.
K was gentle with her. He asked her to sit beside him and discussed gently
with her.
Mr. Pant, J.P. and Hiralal also joined in the discussion.
K said that thinking is common to all of us.
I said -"Because we think, self arises. From self comes, self interest."
K said -"Thinking itself is the cause of division."
I and others did not agree. I said -"From thinking arises the self. Then
only it causes conflict. If the self does not arise, there is no conflict or
division."
K said -"Thinking itself is the cause of division. Do you understand that?"
I asked -"It divides us from what?"
He was impatient with my question. He said that I did not listen to what he
was saying. He would show it to me if I listened carefully. He explained
every step logically. Thinking arises from memory. Memory is recorded due to
experience and knowledge. Knowledge is limited or partial. So whatever is
limited can never be whole. Thought being partial, it is divisive. Then he
said -"Now ask. Jump on me."
I said -"In that case, everything we observe, think, feel is partial and
divisory. Is there anything whole, complete, absolute?"
He said -"You have to find out for yourself what exists when thinking ends."
He seemed to say that in him the thinking had ended. I may not believe that.
I had the right to explore, ask and doubt.
It was time to end the discussion. I could have asked more questions and
made him more angry or impatient.

K's discussion with teachers was quite intense on December 15. He talked
about the religious life. There is no security in life and yet our brain
cannot function well if it is in conflicts. For him, there is absolute
security. In thought there can be no security because it is limited and
divisive.
I said -"When we are thinking, we talk about security and insecurity. But
when we are free from thoughts, we don't know what is security and what is
insecurity."
He said -"You are not listening to what I am saying."
I said -"I was listening to you when you were talking with Pupulji. I can
tell you what you were saying to her."
He said -"That means you were not listening. Forgive me if I say so
respectfully."
He talked about past, present and future. All time is in 'now'. We could not
follow what he was saying. He was discarding the possibility of change in
the future.
I said -"What you are now is not what you were when you were born. At some
time, change occurred in you."
He tried to answer but avoided. Prof. Hiralal said -"We are not moving from
what we were discussing last time. You showed that there is no change as
long as we are thinking because thinking in itself is divisory."
K said -"You are not moving because you have not stopped."

Pupulji and Achyutji's dialogue was filmed on December 16 by a Malayalam
film director. It was quite intense and interesting. K was not disturbed by
lights going on and off every five minutes by the film crew. His mind was
clear and alert. But why did he make sweeping statements like -All saints
were neurotic- How would he know without living with them?

We went to Madras to listen to K's talks in the last week of December. Just
before his talk on December 29, it started drizzling. K talked about the
biological and psychological evolution. He said that time is not required
for psychological evolution. We had lunch and dinner with K. He was watching
us with curiosity. He seemed to be happy and loving when we left Madras on
December 30.

1985

On December 3, at 9.30 a.m., K talked with the teachers of K schools. He
began slowly describing the disintegrating world and our responsibility to
create a new human being. He talked for most of the time. The discussion
was not challenging enough. Very few teachers participated in the
discussion.
He asked -"You work in this school for 30 years and spend enormous amount of
energy. Yet you see students being absorbed in the corrupt world. Have you
wasted your time and energy?"
I answered - "It is not the wastage of energy. While teaching, we learn
about ourselves. So even if students do not respond to us and conform to the
corrupt world, we learn about ourselves. It is not wasting of time and
energy."
He asked -"Do you learn about yourself?"
I said -"Yes Sir"
He asked -"What do you mean by learning?"
I said -"It is being aware of ourselves, how we live, think etc.."
He asked -"For how long?"
I said -"It has nothing to do with time. It is learning moment by moment."
He asked -"What do you mean by learning? Is it like learning and
accumulating and acting from the memory? Do you agree with me?"
I said -"No. I do not agree with you."
He said -"We are not fighting or arguing with each other."
Then he asked again -"What do you mean by learning?" He talked about
learning a language, some skills which require memory.
On the whole, it was a dull discussion. He asked -"Do you like this kind of
discussion? I am used to this kind of stuff. I have talked with the top
scientists, government officials, priests etc. They say they have lot to
learn but they remain the same."
He also said -"Basically I am a shy person. You may not believe what I am
saying."

On December 5, K talked with boys and girls of Rishi Valley School about
fear. Firdaus, Prashant and other juniors talked with him.
K asked -"What is the feeling of fear?" Boys and girls gave many answers but
he was not happy with the answers. Firdaus gave the genuine answer -"Heart
beats faster, muscles contract when fear arises." His gestures and movement
of eyes made me laugh for a long time.

On December 8th, I wrote a letter to K. I wrote:

Beloved Krishnaji:
I am writing this letter to expose my mind. I am sure you can see through it
and make useful comments. If you have time to discuss the contents of my
mind, it would be very useful.
I came into contact with your teachings in 1972 when I was a student at Iowa
State University. It made a great and immediate impact on my life. In few
months, there were noticeable changes in me. I read most of your books from
1972 to 1979. During those years I went through many experiences of
different kinds. I wrote several letters to you describing those
physical(biological) experiences of body, brain and perception.
After coming to Rishi Valley in 1979, my body has become very sensitive to
what is happening within. The brain is throbbing day and night with pulses
which are neither painful nor pleasurable. These pulses are felt in various
parts of the body as well. Occasionally a tingling sensation occurs in the
back. A cricket like sound created within the ear is heard all the time.
I am curious to understand what is happening. Is it possible for you to
comment on such experiences?
It seems to me that the thinking process is the secondary process. Its root
lies in the bio-chemical process occurring within the brain. What causes the
change in bio-chemical process in the body?
A voice within me says -"Don't get trapped in experiences. Sensitivity of
body and experiences related to it are far from Truth. Is your mind free
from thoughts, images, conclusions? Are your nights very peaceful and free
from dreams? Is your mind like an empty drum which gives sound only when it
is struck? Ask these questions and observe in silence. You have lot to
learn."
Lovingly, Harshad Parekh

On December 9, K gave the last talk for the teachers. I was late by few
minutes and so I sat very close to the door. I could neither see him nor
could I listen to him.
But in front of me was a lovely plant. I looked at its green and chocolaty
leaves which radiated light. At the end of the talk, I delivered my letter
to him.
I met K and others walking on the main road several times. I went for
cycling in the evening. While coming back to school, I saw them. Sometimes
we raised our hands to greet each other.

K talked to the students on December 11. He seemed to be tired of talking.
He repeated his words. Students got bored. Very few students participated in
the discussion. Boys wanted to know about his life. But he found it
difficult to remember the events of his life. Lynn asked -"Why our minds
keep on thinking? Why are we concerned about ourselves most of the time?" He
talked about memory, experience, time, etc..

There was a conference of educators for four days from December 13 to 17.
There were intense discussions on the aim of K schools. The Indian schools
were not so intense about K's Teachings. These schools seemed to be more
concerned with curriculum, teaching methods, training of teachers, and
excellence in academics. The schools in the west were passionate on K's
Teachings. The excellence in academics was of secondary importance. Both
David Moody and Scott Forbes spoke passionately on creating the New Mind.
The Indian speakers seemed more relaxed and well settled in their ideas and
work.

K spoke passionately and affectionately at the end of the conference. In his
presence we had a feeling of wholeness. He asked -"What is life? What is
creation? What is goodness and what is the New Mind?"

1986

On February 17, Mr. Narayan announced in the assembly hall that K had passed
away in sleep at 1 a.m. in California. I did not feel sad but when a girl
started crying, I was touched. I could not sleep at night. I wrote the
following words in my diary about K.

He lived an extra ordinary life, full of activities and meditation. He
affected thousands all around the world. He loved and was greatly loved too.
He was the greatest man I ever came across and who affected my life more
than any living or dead person in the history of mankind.

A man dies but his memories remain. His teachings are extra-ordinarily
revolutionary in the sense that he rejects memories as the dead weight of
the past. Man must live in the present and be passively alert to the ways of
his thoughts and feelings.

Listen to this man on the subject of life and death -"On the journey of life
and death, you must walk alone; on this journey there can be no taking of
comfort in knowledge, in experience, in memories. The mind must be purged of
all the things it has gathered in its urge to be secure; its gods and
virtues must be given back to the society that bred them. There must be
complete uncontaminated aloneness."

He showed the way to freedom not only through his brilliant talks,
discussions and inspired writings but also through his own life. K is gone
but his Teachings will remain alive in the lives of those who find the
teachings challenging.








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