> McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
>  -------------------------------------------------
> This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website
> by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor.  The company,
> of course, does not - and made the web department take it down
> immediately.
> (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief
> suppliers of military aircraft).
>
> ______________________________________________________________________
>
> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.  In
> order to  protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
> fill out the  warranty registration card below.  Answering the survey
> questions is  not  required, but the information will help us to
develop
> new products  that best meet your needs and desires.
>
>  1. [_] Mr.   [_] Mrs.     [_] Ms.         [_] Miss  [_] Lt.
>     [_] Gen.  [_] Comrade  [_] Classified  [_] Other
>  First Name: .......................................................
>  Initial: ........
>  Last Name: ......................................................
>  Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
>  Code Name: ......................................................
>  Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ...........  ...........  ..........
>
>  2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
>  [_] F-14 Tomcat
>  [_] F-15 Eagle
>  [_] F-16 Falcon
>  [_] F-117A Stealth
>  [_] Classified
>
>  3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... / .......
>
>  4. Serial Number: .................................................
>
>  5. Please check where this product was purchased:
>  [_] Received as gift / aid package
>  [_] Catalog showroom
>  [_] Independent arms broker
>  [_] Mail order
>  [_] Discount store
>  [_] Government surplus
>  [_] Classified
>
>  6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
> product you have just purchased:
>  [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>  [_] Store display
>  [_] Espionage
>  [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
>  [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>  [_] Was attacked by one
>
>  7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
> decision  to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>  [_] Style / appearance
>  [_] Speed / maneuverability
>  [_] Price / value
>  [_] Comfort / convenience
>  [_] Kickback / bribe
>  [_] Recommended by salesperson
>  [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>  [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>  [_] Backroom politics
>  [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
>  8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
>  [_] North America
>  [_] Central / South America
>  [_] Aircraft carrier
>  [_] Europe
>  [_] Middle East
>  [_] Africa
>  [_] Asia / Far East
>  [_] Misc. Third World countries
>  [_] Classified
>
>  9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
> purchase in the near future:
>  [_] Color TV
>  [_] VCR
>  [_] ICBM
>  [_] Killer Satellite
>  [_] CD Player
>  [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
>  [_] Space Shuttle
>  [_] Home Computer
>  [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
>  10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?  (Check
> all that apply:)
>  [_] Communist / Socialist
>  [_] Terrorist
>  [_] Crazed
>  [_] Neutral
>  [_] Democratic
>  [_] Dictatorship
>  [_] Corrupt
>  [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
>  11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>  [_] Deficit spending
>  [_] Cash
>  [_] Suitcases of cocaine
>  [_] Oil revenues
>  [_] Personal check
>  [_] Credit card
>  [_] Ransom money
>  [_] Traveler's check
>
>  12. Your occupation:
>  [_] Homemaker
>  [_] Sales / marketing
>  [_] Revolutionary
>  [_] Clerical
>  [_] Mercenary
>  [_] Tyrant
>  [_] Middle management
>  [_] Eccentric billionaire
>  [_] Defense Minister / General
>  [_] Retired
>  [_] Student
>
>  13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate
> the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
> participating on a regular basis:
>  [_] Golf
>  [_] Boating / sailing
>  [_] Sabotage
>  [_] Running / jogging
>  [_] Propaganda / disinformation
>  [_] Destabilization / overthrow
>  [_] Default on loans
>  [_] Gardening
>  [_] Crafts
>  [_] Black market / smuggling
>  [_] Collectibles / collections
>  [_] Watching sports on TV
>  [_] Wines
>  [_] Interrogation / torture
>  [_] Household pets
>  [_] Crushing rebellions
>  [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>  [_] Fashion clothing
>  [_] Border disputes
>  [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
> answers  will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas
> serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
> mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
> extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
>
>  Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>
>               McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
>               Marketing Department
>               Military Aerospace Division
>               P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO
 
 

 --
Chuck Seal
cseal@earthlink.net
http://www.enter.net/~seal/

No Other Road
No Other Way
No Day But Today
                 - Jonathan Larson
                          from RENT